In the wake of Mac Miller‘s death on September 7, a lot of attention has been put on Ariana Grande, the rapper’s ex-girlfriend whom he dated for two years. Her name has been brought up in conversations about the “Yoko Effect,” in which women are (wrongfully and disgustingly) blamed for their partner’s actions, and Ari even had to disable her Instagram comments after receiving hate from fans who did exactly that.
The Sweetener singer, for her part, has taken the past week to distance herself from social media, save for a caption-less, black-and-white photo she posted of Miller the day after his death. But on Friday (September 14), Grande finally broke her silence with her first public statement about her ex’s death.
Taking to Instagram, Grande posted a video of her and Mac in happier times, laughing with one another. In the caption, she candidly expressed her heartbreak, writing, “I adored you from the day I met you when I was nineteen and I always will. I can’t believe you aren’t here anymore. I really can’t wrap my head around it. We talked about this. So many times.”
She continued, “I’m so mad, I’m so sad I don’t know what to do. You were my dearest friend. For so long. Above anything else. I’m so sorry I couldn’t fix or take your pain away. I really wanted to. The kindest, sweetest soul with demons he never deserved. I hope you’re okay now. Rest.”
Miller was found dead in his Los Angeles home last week after suffering an apparent overdose. He was 26. He and Grande, 25, began dating in 2016 and broke up in May 2018. Shortly after their split, she shared a statement in which she called the relationship “toxic.” She wrote, “I have cared for him and tried to support his sobriety & prayed for his balance for years (and always will of course). But shaming/blaming women for a man’s inability to keep his shit together is a very major problem.”
Grande joins a chorus of Miller’s friends and fans who have paid tribute to the rapper over the past few days. Most recently, Kendrick Lamar remembered Miller in a sweet video, and thousands of people gathered for a vigil in the late MC’s Pittsburgh hometown.